Monday, November 2, 2009

Pulling the Plug

***WARNING*** The following blog may not be suitable for all readers ***WARNING***

Ok, you've been warned! For the greater part of my life I have looked forward to nursing my child. I've always thought what a sweet, loving time I would have with my child and would just love it! Well, that's not quite how it went.
During my pregnancy, I did everything I was suppose to to prepare myself for nursing: I read books, I went to breastfeeding class, I bought nursing bras, pads, pump....I was ready, so I thought! Day 2 in the hospital, the nursing consultant informs us that since Roman was so small, his tongue was a little further back so I should wear nipple shields to help him out. (Now this was briefly mentioned in class) So, not only was I to wear these while nursing but I also was suppose to wear what I called "turtles" when I was not. So once my milk came in, these things would be filled up with milk if it was time to feed or when a baby would cry. And Roman would fall asleep the whole time feeding so it would take like 45 mins and I had to feed him every 2 hours so I barely had enough to time shower and dress before I had to nurse again. Nursing with the shields was just a mess, leaking everywhere. It got to where it would wear poor Roman out trying to get milk through them but he had gotten used to the rubber texture that skin felt weird. Finally, at 3 months I got to nurse like a normal mother. Well, I'll go ahead and tell you, by then I just wasn't a huge fan.
Also b/c Roman was small we started supplementing formula at about 2 months and cereal at 4. Then he got in a phase where he had better things to do that lay down like a baby and nurse, so I had to start pumping so he would get more than what he would sit for, except for in the morning. And now that we are on jar food too ( that's right, nursing/pumping, formula, cereal/baby food...I'm not busy at all) And somehow I started pumping less and less, and then was just nursing in the morning.
Finally I came to the decision to "pull the plug" after the Remix recovery week, just to keep his immune system up. It was bittersweet, b/c I wanted to give him the best I could for as long as I could. My original goal was 9 months but 7 1/2 isn't too bad. I hate to say I'm kinda excited to feel like I have my body back, less bottles to clean, getting fitted for a REAL bra and not having to hear that pump anymore!!!! But I will miss the times around the family when I get to take Roman in another room and have mommy/son time.
All I can hope for now is that I've done a good job with Roman and hope it's not so hard with the next child!


  1. The next one will be a breeze! Blaine wouldn't lay still either...he practically nursed standing on his head. And good luck with a real bra because they won't fit the same anymore! Goodbye nice ta tas!

  2. Bridget, I know exactly how you feel. I wanted so badly to have that "bonding" feeling that all mothers talk about. I never felt that way with JC or Silas. JC didn't nurse until she was 2 weeks old. I pumped every 2 hours and fed her with a syringe that the nurses gave me. She finally latched on and ate, but I never could find a comfortable position with her. My lap was to small and my arms were too short to find a nice position. I was always moving them and bending over for them to reach me. My back would cramp and I finally thought, this is for the birds!! I knew nursing them was the best thing I could do, but boy was it a pain! I felt as though I was constantly pumping or feeding. I hated leaking and finding a quiet place to feed them. JC was always such a nosy baby that she would never eat if there was someone talking or noises going on. And Silas, well let's just say he was a biter! A biter so hard that I had holes and blood everywhere. I nursed JC for 11 months and Silas for 9. I think you did a great job holding out as long as you did. So kudos to you!! Have fun shopping for a new bra and listening to the sweet sound of NO pumps!! :) haha. Miss you guys.